Thursday, December 17, 2009

Who needs motivation?

I’ve never really thought about career paths or ways to become financially successful. I’ve always known that to be “successful” you need to have a certain amount of ambition and motivation. However, I do not possess these qualities. This may contribute to the fact that I am unemployed, and have been for a while, but the economy is shitty so I’m going to blame that while I still can.

I graduated with a degree in creative writing. Why did I choose this? I figured that a college degree of any sort would open up job opportunities (bullshit) after graduation. When figuring out what to go back to school for, after taking a booze-filled year of food stamps, I figured I could either learn a whole bunch of shit or just make it up. I decided to make it up: Creative Writing Major.

Earlier today I decided that if I am going to get into an MFA program one day, I should probably try to get some stuff published. So I printed off some stories and mailed them in. This is when I realized that I picked the perfect major, assuming I can ever find a way to make money doing it. It fits in perfectly with my no-motivation-apathetic habits. Here’s all it is; write a story, print it out, pop it into an envelope, mail it, wait. It’s pretty damn close to doing nothing. Then, after the story is mailed out, you get to wait for a few months to hear that your story was rejected. That’s probably my favorite part. For those months before I hear back, I get to feel like I’m doing stuff all the time. Sure, it may look like I’m sleeping on the couch at three in the afternoon, but actually, I’m waiting to hear back on a story. Productive shit.

Now, I know that sending out short stories like this will never actually be able to pay the bills. Hell, I’ll be lucky if it even buys me a bottle of whiskey. That’s not really the point, though. I’m just looking for a way to lie to myself so I can feel like I’m not being a complete pile of shit while acting like a complete pile of shit.

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