Friday, January 1, 2010

Starting the year out with a bang.

Sometimes people hang out. Sometimes people celebrate a new year. Sometimes people get hit by cars. Guess how many of these I did last night?

I don’t really remember it happening; I’m going to blame a concussion instead of the alcohol, so this is pieced together through stories from my roommate and a few foggy memories. I’ve definitely learned something from this experience though: Getting hit by a car is exactly as cool as is sounds.

A few years ago I saw a woman get hit by a car. It was nuts. This lady got rocked quite a bit harder than I did, though. I was driving down Capital Drive in Milwaukee and saw a women standing on the side of the street. The street has two lanes of traffic going each way with a boulevard in the middle. I watched as the lady looked both ways and stepped into traffic. All four lanes of traffic were packed with cars going around 35 miles per hour. The lady Froggered her way across the first lane of traffic before she got lit up. She slid up the hood, slammed her head on the windshield and flew in the air. Flew. Up. Before crashing back down onto the concrete. I got out, called the police and watched as the stupid woman screamed in Russian while people came to help her. It sucks that she got hit, but, in all honesty, it was her fault.

I’m not exactly sure if my little run-in with the front of a car was my fault or not. I was crossing in the cross walk on a busy bar street with people jaywalking all over the place. It’s very possible that I crossed against the light, but, again, I’m not sure. Ted tells me that he saw it happen without knowing it was me. He stood on the sidewalk talking to his girlfriend and saw it happen over her shoulder. I guess I got hit hard enough for him to go, “Oh, shit! That guy just got smoked!”

The car hit me on my right side. I hit my head on the hood and slid up a little bit before the car stopped and I was thrown onto the concrete. People came to see if I was okay and the car took off. This is what makes me think the driver was at least as guilty as me in this transaction. The guy had to be drunk otherwise he would have gotten out like a normal person. Either that or he/she was the biggest asshole in the world.

I stood up, dusted myself off, and walked over to Ted on the sidewalk.

“Hey dude. I just got hit by a fucking car.”

I wasn’t hurt. I have a tiny cut on my head that looks like it could have happened shaving, if I shaved the side of my head. Someone walked up to me and told me there was a cop around the corner, and that I should go speak with him. I shrugged, said okay, and followed them.

The officer was nice and looked at me like I was a crazy person.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

“Nope. I’m okay.”

“Do you want to go to the hospital?”

“Nope. I don’t have insurance. I could use another drink, though.”

One of the bystanders happened to get the car’s license plate number so they gave that to the cop. My interview ended there because there’s not really much more I could say. “I got hit by a car. It sucked. Whatever.”

I woke up today with a pretty well-developed headache. This could be due to my head hitting the hood of the car/concrete, or it could be from alcohol. I’m going to say it was the car/concrete. Throughout the day I noticed new aches and pains. A sore wrist, hip, and back are like the sprinkles on top of the headache sundae. Getting hit by a car rules.

We drove to Taco Bell for breakfast since no one wanted to go to Waffle House. On the way there, someone else forgot how to drive their car. We first watched as the guy drove through a red light. A couple blocks later we found ourselves driving in the adjacent lane to him, just a little behind. He, however, didn’t notice us. He decided to switch lanes without checking his mirrors or blindspot or just pulling his head out of his ass in general. He almost hit us, I got to give him a good blast of the horn, and then we gave him a pretty hardcore middle-finger session. It felt good.

As we drove away from the psycho, I realized that if that had happened, I would have gotten hit by two cars on the first day of the year. 2009 was a pretty shitty year and 2010 doesn’t seem to be off to a great start. Let’s hope I can stop getting hit by cars long enough to find a goddamn job.

1 comment:

  1. Well that's awesome. One less resolution you have to take care of.