Friday, July 2, 2010

20 million is a lot of dollars

Jaycee Dugard just got awarded 20 million dollars for her ordeal. “What is the ordeal?” you may be asking. Oh nothing big, just KIPNAPPED when she was 11 and held hostage for 18 years while being RAPED and having TWO kids during this time. No big deal? Yeah right. That’s fucked up.

When I first saw this story I was like, “Well, yup, that’s seems about right.” But I was thinking as 20 million as an abstract number. Just something we say like “Dude, I just ate a gazillion sandwiches!” You didn’t really eat a gazillion sandwiches because that’s not a word and you were exaggerating.

All large numbers have become this to me. Six million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. “Okay, that’s a really big number,” and that’s as far as I think about it. When you realize how large of a number 6 million is, you’re like “holy fuck.” Six million. That’s enormous.

When I thought further into the story of Jaycee Dugard, I realized that 20 million is a lot of dollars. Too many dollars. She’ll never have to work again. Not only that, she'll have enough money to buy an island, blow it up, and hang out in arcades and bars until the day she dies. It’s forever fun. I know, after 18 years of being raped, she’s probably going to have a few psychological issues. So her days might not be all fun, but that’s up to her.

So, 20 million dollars is a shit-ton of money and she gets all of it forever. Now, when comparing this, again, with the Holocaust, that’s a little fucked up. Think of all the money every Holocaust survivor got from their suffering. I bet it doesn’t equal 20 million dollars each. Okay, so Holocaust survivors had to have a maximum of about five years of hell. Dugard had 18. So maybe we should divide it by the difference. But no, that’s not even, because Dugard had food the whole time. I think that may even it up for the Holocaust, should probably even throw another few years onto Dugard.

But also, a thing called “inflation” comes to mind. I don’t have any idea how it works*, but I think the result is something along the lines of “Everything gets more expensive as the world gets older.” Sure, Holocaust survivors didn’t get 20 million each, but that’s just because one dollar could buy you two cars and half a boat back then. Things have changed.

Okay, nevermind. Maybe I was wrong to think 20 million dollars is too much to give one person. I guess what she went through is worse than the Holocaust.

*This is how I think it works: Everything is cool now and everything sucked then. Our new shit should be more expensive. How would you like to sit around with two channels, no remote control, and a fucking antennae that barely works? Sure, fifty cents for a ladder but it’ll fall over and drop you head-first onto the concrete if you sneeze.

But the fucked up part is that, now, all that old shit that used to cost a dollar now would cost twenty because it’s “vintage” and “collectible”. Shit, that shoots a hole right through that argument.

1 comment:

  1. So she had sex and a couple kids without leaving the house. It's called being a wife.