Sunday, August 8, 2010

Don't go to sleep.

Last year a friend of mine (named Katrine) and I decided to drive to Colorado from Milwaukee. Sixteen hour drive. She doesn’t have a driver’s license. We loaded up on Airheads, Combos, beef jerky, and 5-hour energy drinks and hit the road. Twenty thousand hours later we ended up next to mountains.

Halfway through Nebraska I lost my mind. Started shaking, couldn’t keep my eyes straight, started rambling meaningless words. So we pulled over to get some food. I thought that may bring me back to normality (totally a word). But we forgot that it was four o’clock in the morning and we were in the middle of bumfuck nowhere Nebraska and all they had was shitty microwave BBQ sandwiches and soggy bananas. So, of course, I ate a shitty microwave BBQ sandwich and half of a soggy banana in hopes of feeling like a person again. Kind of worked. And moved on after watching some redneck trucker shock himself on a toy that’s only use is to shock unknowing people (keep in mind it was labeled very well).

Point of the story is I drove for a very long time. Now that I live in Georgia while my family/friends live in Wisconsin, I’ve made similar drives quite a few times. I have also never slept during these drives beyond (maybe) twenty minute naps in truck stops. These drives usually involve me consuming energy drinks like oxygen and smoking cigarettes to keep my head from bobbing up and down from exhaustion.

Tomorrow night I plan on making another such excursion. Except this time, I have to go to work before the drive begins. So this means I have to work for 7-8 hours (in a car) then drive about 14 hours (in a car) all on one good night of sleep. This is diminished by the fact that I’ll have good ol’ Teddy Smith to split the drive, but he’s a little baby girl so he’ll probably cry in the backseat and miss his girlfriend the whole time. Which will leave me with about twenty billion miles of pavement to cross with only manufactured energy to take me there.

That’s okay with me though. Sleep has only been a hindrance to fun lately. I haven’t enjoyed trying to sleep and I haven’t enjoyed sleeping for a while. 24 hours in a car driving through whereverthefuck? No problem. As long as I get to see my family and friends at the other side, sleep can wait for another time. I know there’s a good looking beer and a lot of good looking people at the other side.

The reason I started babbling about this is because it is currently 4:53 in the morning and I want to stay up as late as possible. I figure, if I can sleep until the moment I have to go to work I’ll be all the better to stay up all night tomorrow.

I’ve learned tonight that Goodfella’s pizza is not worth $20 for their tiny bullshit house special. I’ve learned that the same spider that stole my cigarette last night is tough enough to do it again tonight. And I’ve learned I’m no good at shuffleboard. Like, really, really bad.

So there you go. Sorry if you read this.

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