Thursday, September 29, 2011

Bums are Communists.


I walked to the store today to buy frozen fruit and Ramen noodles.  I figured if I was going to destroy my body with an atomic bomb of sodium, I might as well try to convince myself that I’m doing something good for it by equaling it out with nature’s dessert.  After gathering my foodstuffs, I bought a pack of cigarettes and two scratch-off lottery tickets.  I feel like my hopes of making myself rich are basically infected with terminal cancer, so I have nothing to rely on but blind luck.

I walked into the sun, opened my cigarettes, and sauntered down the road.  I remembered about fifty steps in why I decided it would be a good idea to wait to smoke before passing the park.  The reason being a large pack of bums that absolutely love that park.  Why else would they hang out there in packs at all hours of the night?  


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Weddings are fun.


It didn’t dawn on me that I had never seen the ocean until I was crossing a bridge that seemed more like a roller coaster at about eight in the morning after driving straight through the night while I looked at the ocean.  We were approaching St. Simons Island (no apostrophe, apparently.  I guess there was more than one St. Simon and they decided to simply honor all of them at one time with a singular island) for a wedding.


Weddings are a little strange to me, because I love attending them but I don’t really plan on participating in one.  That’s like never eating your favorite food (kinda).  Everyone is always in a great mood.  Everyone always lets loose.  Everyone is having a great time except for kids.  It sucks to be a kid at a wedding.  You’re around a bunch of people you don’t know who are doing things you don’t understand and doing other things you are not allowed to do.  But I’m not a kid anymore so I don’t really give a shit about all of that.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Dumb Dilemma


You shouldn’t hate someone for something they can’t help, meaning race, gender, place of origin, etc.  This is easily apparent to anyone born after the 1800’s.  Being a bigot has fallen out of fashion, which is most likely for the best.  But I haven’t seen any research on that idea, so I guess I can’t really say for sure either way.


Why bring up such a mundane point?  Good question.  But shut up.  I bring it up because I find myself bigoting all over the place every day I leave my apartment (which is almost every day).  Race, age, gender, none of that shit matters to me.  You could be a baby Chinese girl or a Chilean grandfather (which, I believe, are opposites), it really doesn’t matter to me. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Who needs planning?


As you may know, I don’t have the highest opinion of the way this city is run.  The fact that the roads, including the highways, will flood and the traffic lights will stop working after anything heavier than a light drizzle solidifies my viewpoint.  Tonight, I came across another Atlanta-fix that seems to lack all forethought and rational planning.

It was about 9:45 p.m. and the lane leading to the highway on-ramp was packed with cars at a standstill.  Although at work, I wasn’t busy, so I figured I’d just turn up the music and wait it out.  It shouldn’t be long, right?  It’s just a fucking on-ramp.  People can figure out how to merge with traffic.  It shouldn’t be too long and will still be quicker than taking the city.  Right?  

Monday, September 5, 2011

Dragon Con: The Final Chapter


Usually, today is completely awful.  A hangover rides in my head and clouds everything I encounter until I can finally go to sleep and try to forget the day ever happened.  Why is today usually so shitty?  Because it’s the day after Dragon Con, and if we’ve learned anything from past experiences, that means a pretty drunken, shitty Josh.