Thursday, July 26, 2012

High Speed Chases

High speed chases have always been something I heard about second-hand.  I would only see them in movies or replayed from a different city on the news.  Now that I live in Los Angeles, they have become somewhat of a frequent occurrence.  The first time we came across a live high-speed pursuit, the news feed preempting whatever was supposed to be showing on the channel, we got excited and watched it like a sporting event.  After watching the “suspect” (it really pisses me off how the news will refer to a person as a suspect even though they are watching them commit the crime they are “suspected” of committing) wind their way through residential streets with a parade of police behind them, we headed up to the roof to see the crowded sky full of police and news helicopters.  We watched the group of choppers follow the chase like a group of first graders playing soccer; everyone gathered around the ball.

Since that first chase, we’ve watched live on TV as “suspects” have been PIT maneuvered, shot with bean bag guns, and even on one occasion, killed at a gas station by a barrage of police-sponsored gunfire (but that was after the guy waved a gun at pedestrians, so he deserved it).  And up until today, these chases have remained a television program, a sporting event, a dissociated happening that doesn’t touch me or affect me more than the Brewers losing another game on the other side of the country. 

Until this happened…

As the car spins out of control, the view gets blocked by a building.  That’s my apartment building.

I was walking into my bedroom as I heard the squealing tires and loud snap.  We live on a busy street corner so the squealing tires were nothing new and didn’t cause much alarm.  I thought the snap was someone finally getting t-boned after pulling into traffic without paying attention.  Then I saw my roommate walk to the window, hurriedly set down his bowl of cereal, and go, “Oh shit!  Come here!” as he hopped onto the balcony.

I walked outside to see this:

Ted pointed the police, now chasing on foot, in the direction of where the “suspect” headed as a police helicopter swung over our heads just barely above tree-level.  We watched as they ran his ass down before turning on the TV after seeing the news helicopter also circling overhead.  After the TV came to life, we saw the dickhead getting handcuffed against a patrol car.

“Alright, let’s get the fuck out there.”

We grabbed our dogs as a pretense for walking so close to the crime scene and headed outside.  We found tire marks across the sidewalk in front of our building and realized how dangerous this actually was.

This was a little heavy due to the fact that I had taken my dog out to pee in the same spot that the tire tracks cover about five minutes before this happened.  If I had decided to take a dump or something before taking my dog outside, she would probably be squished and I would probably be crumpled on the street right now.  That’s fucked up.  Luckily no one was hurt, but that corner has a lot of foot traffic on it.  Especially at this time of day.  And this is why I have gone on record saying that I can understand police brutality.  If he had squished my dog and I had survived, I would have ripped the guy’s throat out with my bare hands on live TV.

We then walked down a couple lots to where the cops were milling around, talking and giving each other hugs.  They were obviously pleased with how the whole deal went down. 

No one was hurt.  There was minimal damage (a stop sign was ruined and a little bit of grass came up).  This is all a bit of a miracle since 3rd Street is a ten ton shitstorm in the morning, full of cars barely moving and people walking their dogs.  But somehow, this guy flew around like a hovercraft without slamming into one person. 

The guy sat slumped in the backseat of the cop car, seemingly trying to take a nap.  Here’s a picture of the asshole, but you can barely see him.  His head is the tiny bump in the middle of the back window. 

We spoke with other neighbors standing outside and Holy Fucking while looking around in disbelief at the real life movie scene that just played out in front of us.  I had woken up about twenty minutes before all of this and felt like I could either use another four hours of sleep or a five gallon bucket of coffee, but after watching some dude have one of the worst mornings ever and selfishly extrapolating how it could have ruined my life, I no longer have a problem with feeling sleepy.


  1. I live on Saint Andrews and Third. I usually walk my dog around 6:50 am for some reason I woke up late today. I passed by today I saw you guys talking pics from your balcony, Your right a lot of ppl do walk their dogs in the morning. Someone could have easily gotten killed. Throw the book at the POS.

  2. I live nearby too. And heard the chopper and many many police cars. Kinda suspected that something like this was happening. It's LA.