Friday, November 2, 2012

Constructive De-Construction

People are inherently selfish.  It’s probably just an evolutionary trait that was picked up when one group of monkeys refused to steal food from another group of monkeys during the dry season.  Of course, those good-natured monkeys died out and the assholes continued to mate and prosper until we finally put on some pants and figured out how to speak to each other.  This is just a reality of life and it’s the reason living in a big city sucks:  The more people you have, the more assholes you deal with.  That’s just how it goes.  Fine.  Okay.  The part that really gets me, though, is when this self-serving mindset gets institutionalized and becomes generally accepted.  There are many examples of this and they all piss me off.

 My main beef is with construction.  I’m not talking about working on roads or bridges or anything like that.  I’m talking about private, commercial construction as in apartment buildings or new businesses.  Why is it bullshit?  Because they take the fact that they are building something as a means of telling everyone else to eat shit until they are finished.  And we have no choice but to eat this plate of shit on a daily basis.  The roads are public and meant to be used by anybody and everybody, not as a runway for cranes to haul lumber up to some dude with a megaphone.  There’s a building under construction at the end of my block and they’ve been working on it seemingly since we moved in (ten months ago). 

Tell me why it’s okay for some prick with a crane to block off a city street everyday?  The new building will not serve the general populace.  It’s not going to make everyone’s life better once it’s completed.  It’s just going to be another building that I pass on the way to grocery store/bar/work/wherever-the-hell-else and it’s going to become part of the backdrop as does every other building on the street.  Special privileges are awarded to these workers and it sucks.  What if I wanted to spread out all of my blankets in the middle of the road to see how many square feet I could cover (y’know, just to see).  I’d get honked at like crazy and the cops would eventually beat me in the kidneys with the biggest sticks they could find.  That’s favoritism and it’s bullshit.

“How else are they going to build the complex if they don’t use the street?”  I don’t know.  And I don’t care.  You can say, “Darn it Josh, you are being selfish, therefore negating your entire point.”  But that’s not true because I’m not only talking about it inconveniencing myself.  I’m talking about everybody that uses the street on which the construction is taking place.  And that’s surely a lot more people than own the building that is under construction.  Some dick with a lot of money said, “Hey, I can buy this lot, pay Mexicans a dollar a day, build some piece of shit, and make a shit load of cash!  Fuck everybody!  I’m doin’ it!” and then went ahead and pissed in the mouth of everybody in the neighborhood for a whole year.

Aside from the general dickaround of closed streets, there’s the ever-present noise that accompanies construction.  I’m down the street from the work area, and it’s unbearable to me at times.  I can’t imagine living directly across the street or next to it.  I would probably slam my head into the wall until it exploded and then fall out of my window in front of a bunch of crying, screaming school children.  And it wouldn’t be my fault. 

Again, what if instead of the construction making a shit-load of noise all day, it was me?  What if I shipped in my Marshall half-stack from my parents house, set it up on the balcony, and jammed on some Every Time I Die from eight in the morning until four in the afternoon every day (while my blankets stretched across the street).  That would actually be more pleasing for the neighborhood than thirty Mexicans with hammers, saws, and nailguns because although ETID is a little too abrasive for many people, there has to be at least one other person in the neighborhood that likes their music.  Therefore, someone would hear me ripping my way through “Floater,” sit up in bed and say, “Fuck yeah.”  Meanwhile, nobody hears a hammer smacking against a steal beam for an hour straight and starts headbanging.  GG Allin might, but he’s dead.  Thankfully.

Along with dealing with construction, traffic, potholes, closed roads, spaceships, marathons, parades, and slow-moving elderly folk, living in Los Angeles has brought around a new version of this bullshit I’m-doing-something-so-fuck-you idea:  Film shoots.

This is even more aggravating than construction because of the inherent lack of modesty.  At least construction crews are a bunch of hard-working people just trying to make some money.  Which, for the most part, is the same for film shoots.  But there’s an air of superiority that comes with it, too.  You give someone that plastic laminate hanging from a shoe string and they act as if they had just cured sunburns.  When in actuality, they’re simply performing a much larger-budget version of an elementary school play.  That’s it.  It’s all pretend.  It’s all meaningless.  Sure, it’s going to make eighty billion dollars because it has Kevin James or Jim Belushi or somebody else that is famous for some reason and people are going to believe it when they are told it’s funny.  It’s certainly no reason to shut down a whole street when I’m just trying to park my car after returning from work.  I gotta hurry up to catch Maury Povich!  I don’t have time to drive around the block and park somewhere else!  I need to know whose baby’s daddy was cheatin’ with another chicken head while sneakin’ on the down low!

Or something like that.  Basically, I think it’s dumb when someone influences the way others get around just because of their own desires.  It could be a new Denny’s being built or the latest installment of Pert Plus commercials being filmed.  Do whatever you want, just don’t fuck up my trip to Target.  It’s already a hell-ride and a half getting there and back.

1 comment:

  1. was this person able to operate the crane without blocking the street? serious inquiry? blankets in the street i know was just to make a point, but that is the point. you did not pay anyone to put a blanket in the street, and culture, society is less favorable to random acts of stupidity, therefore it probably would not work, or last very long.