Sunday, January 27, 2013

First Published Fiction Now Available

I made a decision last year to focus on short stories.  Ideally, I’d like to write books but it takes a long time to write one and it’s damn near impossible to convince someone that it’s good enough to publish.  I’ve written two so far and have been sending out queries which have lead to receiving a steady stream of rejection letters from literary agents and small presses.  This, however, is no big deal.  That’s just how it goes.  There’s no need to complain because that would be like going swimming and then saying, “God damnit, now I’m all wet!”  It just comes with the territory.

I told myself that I would put off working on another book until I got at least one short story published in a magazine.  A print magazine.  With pages.  And a cover.  I wanted to prove to myself that sometimes queries are answered with something other than a form letter of rejection.  And what do you know, I went ahead and fucking did it.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Second Amendment is First Loser

Gun violence has become the center of discussion since we had about 2,000 or so mass shootings over the past year.  Each of which has created a celebrity of the shooter and has outraged liberals who call for stricter gun laws and regulations.  This is inevitably met with the pro-gun crowd who are quick to tell you to go fuck yourself, that it’s their right to have a gun, and it’s downright American to possess a firearm.  However, those people are fucking stupid.

Guns were written into the constitution a long fucking time ago.  Back then, Americans were still worried that they would wake up to find a British soldier skull-stomping their children, so guns were, if not a necessity, at least easily justified.  Also, their guns were basically kick ass slingshots.  You could shoot at someone, as long as they were within about fifty or so yards, and then pull out your gunpowder and that rod thingy and spend the next 15 seconds (if you were a Musket Master) reloading your boomstick.  This is a pretty stark contrast to the insane hand cannons that people carry around today.  And that shit is straight up horrifying.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Hug da Police

People love talking shit on cops.  Every teenager walking down the street with a mouthful of Big League Chew is sure to mutter, “Pig,” as a cop car drives past.  Either that or the old school favorite, “Fuck the police.”  We can blame NWA, general teenage angst, and misplaced frustration (don’t worry kids, your parents aren’t actually out to ruin your lives) for all of this.  But after you grow up, this hatred of law enforcement should dissolve, right?

Wrong.  Many people that pay electricity bills still gripe about the cops.  “Fuckin’ pigs shut the party down!”  Well, maybe you shouldn’t be screaming in a residential zone at three in the morning.  I’ve also heard people say that cops are simply people with massive egos that get off on telling other people what to do.  Of course this can be true of some cops but that’s just because we’re people.  There will always be a percentage of people that suck to varying degrees and for various reasons.  You can also say that a manager at Taco Bell gets off on telling people what to do.  Sure, they don’t have a gun and taser, but they have access to the tortillas.  And those are as good as gold in my neighborhood.

I bring up these obvious and unoriginal observations because I fully realized the other day why cops are kick ass, why we need them, and why they are allowed to tell me what I can and can’t do.  I now have unassailable proof that on the grand scheme of things, a cop is a better person that I on almost all attribute scales.