Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Hospital


I have been holding onto that adolescent notion of invincibility for as long as I can.  Sure, I can have candy for dinner.  That won’t hurt me.  Yes I will have a cigarette, thank you.  I won’t get cancer.  And so on.  28 isn’t old, despite the sprouting gray hairs in my beard and increasing intensity of my hangovers from increasingly small amounts of alcohol.

Just this week, I have taken another step towards the goal of realizing how life works.  This came in the form of demolishing my Invincibility Complex.  All it took was a surprise three-day stay at a hospital.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Garth Brooks is Hard as Fuck


It may surprise some people to know I’m a fan of Garth Brooks.  Not that I’ve ever hid the fact, it’s just that my intense disdain for almost all of this shit people call “Country Music” may dissuade some from thinking so.  But, in fact, I do like some country music.  Basically nothing past 1995 or so, though.  Everything you kids are listening to right now sucks.  With a capital sucks.  It’s all dumbed-down manufactured crap that is written to appeal to the lowest common denominator so it doesn’t alienate anyone.  The line between pop and country has basically been demolished (thanks a lot, Shania) and now all you have to do is pop on a big hat, add a little southern twang and boom, possible pop star becomes a country star.

Now, I’m not going to go back and defend all of the older stuff I enjoy, I’m going to stick with Garth Brooks because that’s what I listened to growing up and when I recently went back and listened to it again, I realize how bad-fucking-ass he is.  The thing I’ve come to appreciate is the way he would often simply tell a story throughout a song, complete with characters, plot arc, progression, and sometimes a twist ending.  People might lump him in with the rest of the moist-eyed, my-lady-done-left-me-and-my-dog-died country artists, but that’s bullshit because his songs had some dark shit going on.

Friday, April 5, 2013

A Live Tape(worm)-ing



Every once in a while I’m reminded that I’m surrounded by studios when an entire street is lined with trucks because of some sort of a shoot.  I like to think that it’s Terminator 8 or a new episode of Arrested Development, but it’s most likely a Pert Plus commercial or something equally uninteresting.  Be that as it may, this does afford me a few opportunities such as seeing a horse wandering around a parking lot at two in the afternoon (as happened last week) or the possibility of getting free tickets to see a show.  I frequently see people lined up along the sidewalk at the CBS lot on Beverly, or groups standing outside Jimmy Kimmel’s studio on Hollywood, but I’ve never taken the time to join in.  I plan on going to The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune before I move out of this city, but I’ve simply been wrapped in my own laziness so far.

Despite my intense loathing of leaving my apartment, I went ahead and snagged two free tickets to watch a taping of an episode of The Jeselnik Offensive.  I’ve been a fan of his stand-up for a couple years and I’ve seen clips of the show on the internet (although never a full episode).  Could be funny.  Might as well go.

And so we did.  Now having that experience logged away in my personal-internal files, I figure I’d go ahead and clue the rest of you in on what it’s like to watch a taping of a television show that isn’t broadcast live.