Thursday, August 29, 2013

Fuck the Meat Industry

In my first year of college, my English class required me to write a persuasive essay.  Although being an avid fan of cheeseburgers, hot wings, and chicken alfredo, I decided to write it about vegetarianism.  I knew there was a wealth of information on the subject and it would be really easy to take the side of the vegetarian, explaining why it’s immoral to eat meat.  The horrible treatment of the animals shown in PETA videos basically got me the A.  Of course it’s awful that chickens get their beaks blowtorched off so they don’t peck other chickens because their cages are painfully small and will kill for another inch of room.  Of course that sucks.  You’re right.  Here’s your A.

After completing all the research, I damn near talked myself into becoming a vegetarian.  The stuff I found online was truly horrific and since animals are generally kick ass (except for my neighbor’s dog) I began questioning if I should continue eating meat.  But, I was eighteen years old and didn’t really give a shit about too much so I was back at Culver’s getting a double cheeseburger by the end of the week.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Riding a Bike = Deathwish

A couple years ago, I was speaking with a bartender and he told me a story of how he saw a cyclist run into the side of a car that had abruptly turned in front of him.  The guy was vaulted off of his bike and hit his head on the pavement on the other side of the car.  His momentum caused him to slide a little after impact and he basically rubbed his ear off on the street.  He wasn’t wearing a helmet.  This was a major contributor to my decision to start wearing a helmet while biking.

 $340 - slightly used

Helmets are a necessity not because of the possibility of hitting a pothole and falling off of your bike or clipping a curb with your tire and tipping over.  Helmets are a necessity because a portion of the car-driving public has little to no regard for the average cyclist.  This causes drivers to not afford a person on a bike the respect and safety they deserve and sometimes causes people to act in a way that is dangerous and downright malicious.  I have had many drivers cut unnecessarily close to me as they pass, revving the engine and sometimes even screaming at me.  One guy pulled in front of me and frantically waved his arms in the direction of the sidewalk.  I pulled up next to him at the next streetlight.

“What’s your problem?” I asked.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Hooters: The Breastaurant of Shame

The Hooters business model basically goes something like this:  “Show them some boobs, toss some wings their way, and fill them with beer.  They’ll never want to leave.”  And sure, it’s an effective marketing ploy.  What do dudes like?  Chicken wings, beer, and boobs.  Toss some sports on the TV and you’re in dude-heaven.  There’s only one problem with this:  Eating chicken wings in public is a degrading, disgusting way to spend your time.

The Hooters employees are trained to convince even the sloppiest, fattest, sweatiest, shittiest dudes that they have a chance of banging one of the waitresses.  They always smile at you when you come in, they converse with you in an overly friendly manner, and they sit down at your table to take your order (because, y’know, you guys are friends).  The guy then nervously recites his order while trying not to stare directly into her cleavage.  She walks away and the dudes talk about her boobs.  Standard shit.

Girl bout to dunk her hair in the ranch.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

No Name #1: Elliott Smith Tribute at the Largo – Los Angeles – 8/6/2013

About 8 years ago, I was introduced to Elliott Smith and soon after became a big fan.  Listen to two seconds of any song I’ve made since and the influence is easily apparent.  I still listen to his music frequently (almost on a daily basis), have two of his records hanging on my wall, and have a dog named after one of his songs.  Basically, I am somewhat of a fan.  The problem with being an Elliott Smith fan is that, well, he’s dead.  This means I’ll never get to see him play live.  This also means that there’s a finite amount of youtube videos and recordings that can be found.  And since I worked a really boring job with internet access while in college, I’ve seen every single clip of him playing live that is currently on the internet (I’m not kidding).

Imagine my excitement when I heard that a group of Elliott’s friends were putting on a tribute concert to commemorate the tenth anniversary of his death.  I immediately bought tickets and counted down the days to the concert.