Thursday, December 25, 2014

New fiction available fo' free

Happy Christmas everybody.  The fine folks at Roadside Fiction have given me the great honor of including my story “Pennies” in an issue that has been posted today.  Feel free to follow this link right here and check it out.  It’s free, it’s fun, it’s a way to escape the in-laws for a hot minute so why the hell not, eh?

Saturday, December 13, 2014

I Went to a Psychic Today

One day about eight years ago while walking down the sidewalk, I decided to start believing in magic, astrology, and all the things that can’t be explained with rational discourse.  I figured it would make life more exciting to believe the dude with the top hat actually just sawed his arm off, or the full moon would make people go crazy, or that the person who cut me off will soon drive into a reservoir and be punished for his behavior.  However, I soon talked myself out of it because I am apparently not programmed to believe in anything I can’t touch, smell, or lick.  And that’s pretty much how my life has been, just walking around and calling bullshit on everything people say.  But today I decided to take a step back from that and put that nagging voice in the back of my mind that says at all times “this is fucking stupid this is fucking stupid” on hold, and go see a psychic.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Fuck Black Friday

About 8 years ago, I was convinced to sit outside a Best Buy on Thanksgiving night to wait in line for when the store opened before dawn.  We set up a tent along the side of the building and drank beers.  Friends popped in and out to have a couple beers before going about their night.  We peed in between cars.  It was fun.  And when the doors finally opened I found a tub of Seinfeld DVDs and called it a day.  This is my only Black Friday experience.

Since then, I’ve realized that even showing up to get a few cheap DVDs is contributing to the monster that has taken hold of our country.  Thanksgiving has been eclipsed by sales starting earlier and earlier to the point where people look forward to the holiday not because they want to drink booze with their family at noon and watch football, but because they want to hammer out some Christmas shopping and possibly trample a couple people in the process.  And I, for one, think that is really fucked up.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Please Destroy Me

I love riding my bike.  It’s probably the closest a person can come to flying without the risk of becoming a giant Spaghettio splatter-stain on the ground.  The tires glide over the pavement and your direction is shifted by slight angle differentiations like a bird floating on the breeze.  It’s beautiful.  You get to see the city without sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic and, best of all, you get to get the shit knocked out of you by passing cars.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Case for Lunacy

You never really want to be the guy that people talk about the next day in the manner of, “Jesus Christ, did you see the guy…” and then filling in a story of maniacal shouting.  Throughout the majority of my life, I’ve done a good job of avoiding this.  I like to think of myself as a mostly mild-mannered fella but unfortunately, you can’t be surrounded by brain dead breathing zombies that go through their days oblivious to the fact that they are living in a society with other human beings without blowing your stack every once in a while.  For your consideration, I’ve compiled a few recent examples of instances such as this and maybe we can work our way through them and find out who’s crazy:  Me, or everybody else in the whole world.  I think it’s obviously everybody else but hey, I’ve been wrong once or twice before (but not for a very, very long time).

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Mute Music, now available fo' free!

I am glad to announce the release of an instrumental ep (which I believe stands for Short Album) Mute Music.  Recorded by myself with a faulty microphone and a suicidal computer, it includes a little jazz, some folk, and of course balls-out rock-n-roll.  The best part?  It’s free!  That’s right, I’m a communist when it comes to music.  For the people.  Anyways, follow this link right here and click the “Free Download” button so you can pop it onto your iPod or mp3 player or whatever the kids are using these days.  I included a cryptic virus that makes your computer blow up if you try to play it through the shitty computer speakers so you better do yourself a favor and blast it through a full stereo or some comfy earmuff headphones.  You’ll thank yourself for the extra effort, and so will I.  Once again, I owe a great debt to a Mr. Jeffrey Wynn for his wonderful work on the album art.  Thanks for listening.  Well, if you actually do, that is.  If not, hey man that’s cool too.  We only get one trip on this crazy world and who the hell am I to tell you what to do with your time, right?  Totally.  But on the other hand, I worked really hard on it so fucking listen to it.  Whoa, where did that come from?  See, this is why I made an instrumental album:  I can’t be trusted with a mouth.

I love each and every one of you.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

A Trip to the Desert

Here's something I wrote for TheGeeze.  This is basically something I would have posted on here but hey might as well put it up there.  Anyway, I kinda miss using this thing so maybe I'll post links on here to the new blogs as they pop up and leave the other silly stuff up to you to seek out.  So, here's something about the desert.

Monday, April 21, 2014

The Geeze is Live

A buddy of mine has put together a website and asked me to contribute to it.  So, I'll be posting concert reviews, album reviews, and basically anything else I can think of (seriously, they gave me a pretty long leash) from now until whenever.  The website is here.  And my first article is here.

I'll probably post links to each thing on here but just in case I get lazy, you can follow the website by liking their facebook page or simply visiting the website you lazy ass.